diagnosis

[mikkibell]

hi i have a 11 year old daughter who i think may have asperger's but i'm really not sure her new seconday school are not interested because she is well behaved! my husband and i are going to see the doctor in a weeks time but we really not sure what to say she doesn.t seem to fit the'average' symptoms but we have always susppected something was not quite right i would be really grateful if anyone could give me any advice.

[toxic_lolly]

Keep positive, our Daughter is now 15 we also felt that something was not quite right but her symptoms are very mild. We went to our family GP 2 years ago when her behaviour deteriated who refered her to CAHMS. For us it helped enormously and we are now waiting for a proper assessment although her Psychiatrist is 99% sure she has Aspergers. Our daughter's secondary school is a nightmare and the bullying is terrible but we just seem to go round in circles with them. Support your daughter all you can so that she knows that the things that happen are not her fault (she can't help it). With our Daughter she is missing the finer social skills and reacts inappropriately sometimes. The other kids realise that something is different about her and use her, but she can't see it, she thinks it is all a game and that they are her friends. She hates school, but not the kids that are horrible to her?
We are always there for her and make sure that she spends as much time on her hobby as possible (Horses !!!) They are wonderful for children with autism / aspergers... we havent looked back since we took a horse on part loan, she is starting to compete now and seems to be a natural. It has made her realise that school is not the be all and end all in life and she now attends college from school 1 day a week taking an animal care course and wants to be a veterinary nurse.

[Stephen]

Hi toxic-lolly - I hope you have read my post on CAMHS-Beware!

I am an Aspergers, my 5 year old son is exhibiting behaviour that is different to the norm. The paediatrician who diagnosed me says that if I would like my son to be assessed through her via CAMHS I would be looking at at least 10 months before she could see him. If how ever I decide to pay privately for his assessment then she would be able to see him in 2 weeks.

With what I’ve seem of CAMHS I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole. I know what I’m definitely going to do, pay for her to see my son privately and to keep him well away from CAMHS.

The problem with C.A.Mental.Health.Services it is there to help those with mental health problems, where as Aspergers is a SOCIAL COMMUNICATION disability.

My therapist will not let me go any near my local adult mental health service as she says that in her opinion they know virtually nothing about Aspergers and to see them would only make my situation worse so avoid them at all costs, she says the same for my son and CAMHS.

And please do not think of your daughter as "not quite right", she is normal but different.

[Kitten]

Hello, I am an adult with Asperger's. Women and girls often do not seem to fit the stereotypes of Asperger's, and I suspect that many go undiagnosed for this reason. When I was in school I was very passive and quiet, so other than not really taking part in the class I went unnoticed and no one really realised there was a problem.

It would be useful to write all your concerns down, so you don't forget anything when you talk to the doctor. Some GPs have very little knowledge of ASD, so a short leaflet about it might be useful and you could highlight the parts that especially relate to your daughter.

[Sammysnake]

Hi. My advice is to take some time to write a clear description of your daughter in everyday situations where you feel her reactions or understanding are 'unusual' and send it to him/her ahead of the meeting. My daughter is 9 and was finally given a clear diagnosis last week of AS after the sort of meeting you are preparing for.

Like you I've always known there was something 'different' although B's behaviour is perfect, she is chatty, friendly, loving etc. When she was 4 Pre-school thought there was an issue so I asked the GP who referred us to a physio and the Community Paediatrician. Pre-school sent a general report on the 'oddities' they had identified, the Paed met B for 5 minutes then said there was slight DCD but it was lovely for him to see such a bright and socially capable child and she was progressing with support so he discharged her! At first I thought I must have been wrong and was just being overprotective - that's what everyone else was telling me but you know in your gut when something's not right with your child. I met a family whose boy is autistic and immediately recognised much of my daughter in the way the two were thinking so I now had a direction to research. I read all the books and implemented all the strategies I could on my own.

Finally school began to agree that her 'issues' were not going away and we got a new teacher in September who is really on the ball. Fortunately for B there is a child in her class with AS as well as other difficulties who has big behavioural problems which means people have to take notice and in researching strategies for him they have noticed similarities in B's difficulties. She's begun to have proper reviews and lots of School Action stuff has started.

So this time around school sent a referral asking for her to see the same Pediatrician and we got an appointment through within a few weeks. They sent him a very excellent and detailed social and emotional questionnaire and minutes from the first review meeting where the teacher gave a very clear description of how B copes in class and what issues there are for her.
Remembering last time and the doc seeing B for 5 minutes, I sent him a load of my own info explaining what she was like in play situations, what social situations she found difficult and what strategies I had been employing in the years since I'd seen him last. I gave every detail I could ahead of the appointment in case he made up his mind before he saw her like last time and I explained that I and her teacher agreed that her difficulties would be much more pronounced had I not been able to give her so much targeted 1:1 support.

The doctor was lovely - this time he talked to B for an hour. He said it it clearly AS and deeply apologised that he'd missed it five years ago! He then told my daughter she has AS and explained it all to her, answering her questions. She is over-the-moon and feels like things make sense now and she understands how she fits in the world!

I tried to find the social and emotional questionnaire online for you but couldn't. It came from our County Council but there's lots of advice on there for schools and parents about AS in education which might be useful for you to approach your school with. There's loads on secondary education and suggested support systems etc. Here's a link http://www.northamptonshire.gov.uk/en/co...SSMENT.pdf

Good luck with your meeting - I would say send loads of info before hand, take a notepad with the things on it you want to mention (so you don't forget), take someone with you to help you remember what the doctor says (it can seem overwhelming at the time), write notes or get someone else to of what the doc says and don't panic. It might be difficult to get another appointment so make sure you get to say everything you wanted to in this one.

Good luck hun, I really hope it goes well, Sam