Settling/Upheaval

[Kitten]

Hi, I'm just after some advice.

My sister is 12, with autism. She has just come to live with me, and we are going to have to move house again at some point. She is finding it very difficult to deal with the change, and is very anxious about the fact that there will be more change when we move house again.

I'm trying to keep our routine as similar to what it was before, but things like the route home from school and her bedroom are obviously completely different. Also, her younger brother is living with a different relative, although we see him most days. She's finding it really hard to deal with.

She used to potter about in the garden all weekend and she says she misses her plants, but I don't have a garden for her. The weekend routine is completely screwed.

She's very subdued and tearful. I feel really sad for her at the moment. I don't know whether there is more I can be doing to settle her, or whether this is just something we need to work through in time.

[choppersangel]

Hi Kitten,
I'm new to this forum and don't have AS myself, my Husband does though. I just want to offer a little support and hope that you do find ways to work through your situation - I'm sure you will.

It's obviously difficult for your younger sister to adjust, a suggestion for her 'plants' might be to grow some edible seeds indoors - mustard and cress or alfalfa perhaps? If she has a little 'indoor' garden area, even just a foot square, it may enable her to feel some continuity; to feel that something very basic (the activity of growing) still goes on anyway, even in this new place. If the plants are in something small enough to carry, they could go with her when you have to move again, which also may help with continuity.

This may not be any help, but I love gardening too and have lived without being able to grow much for a few years - so I wish you guys well!

best wishes
Choppersangel aka Deb

[frisco]

Hi, i was thinking much the same thing as Choppersangel. Maybe a bottle garden even, or some books and a starters kit for bonsai trees? Good luck, she is lucky to have a sister who cares so much about her.

[Kitten]

That might be a really good idea. Space is really tight (hence the need to move), but I should at least be able to clear some window sill space for some herbs, as she always liked to go and pick me something nice to add to the dinner.