Newly diagnosed with Aspergers

[gomatadors]

Hi. I am new to this site. I have recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and am rather devestated. Except for my therapist, nobody understands my condition. People either say that I am pretending to have it or that I am fortunate not to have disease XXX. At work they want me to "shape up now".
How do I overcome Aspergers?

[Gareth Roberts]

I would make your workplace aware of any difficulties you have, send them to this website if needs be.

Don't be devastated and look on it as a bad thing - it does have advantages too. If it wasn't for Aspergers I doubt we would have the clever people we have today - that have changed the world.

Try to look at it more positive. It is hard, but it does get easier.

[LisaB]

Hiya,
Hope you are feeling better about your diagnosis????
I was wondering if I could ask what the procedure is for diagnosing an adult with Aspergers? I am married to an amazing man, who has High functioning Aspergers, is very very clever, and kind, although finds many things difficult socially, although is improving radically. However he has never been officially diagnosed, and O am now expecting our first child, and figured that Aspergers may have a genetic link??
Any experience/info would be greatly recieved.!!
Good luck though...hope it gets easier for you!!

[Gareth Roberts]

LisaB,

That's something that worrys me too. Yes Aspergers/Autism is generally genetic.

[gomatadors]

Hi LisaB,

I was diagnosed with Aspergers by a therapist that I saw. Since then I saw a psychologist who gave me a series of tests. She says that I suffer from Autism, which is my official diagnosis. She also diagnosed me with Severe Depression.

I used to work very hard at being like other people. Now I am learning how to accept that I am autistic but through Jesus can reach my full potential.

I think that you are a wonderful woman to be married to a man with Aspergers. It is my hope that one day I can find a woman who can see past my Aspergers and see the deeper "me".

Meanwhile, I want to help people with autism and Aspergers. I also suffer from an eye disease called Keratoconus which makes it hard for me to see. I want to continue to help these people too.

[LisaB]

Hiya,
thankyou for your lovely post, Im not that wonderful I can assure you, I have days when I feel very lonely and isolated from my husband, and he likewise, but I do have a fantastic group of girlfriends who give me what me husband sometimes cant.....
However he is a warm and funny man, and is a joy to be with, although he has very down days, but we also have a strong faith, and believe that his Aspergers is a gift.........
I think your site is an inspiration too, so good luck, and God Bless
Lisa

[gomatadors]

What kinds of needs do women have that men with Autism/Aspergers
can't provide?

[LisaB]

hiya,
sometimes its just the whole empathy thing, and being able to say im sorry you are feeling bad, when maybe they cant understand the logic behind you feeling bad.. and also understanding that sometimes we just want a hug, even if we look grumpy!!!

[gomatadors]

Hi Lisa,

I have found that verbal communication is the answer for this. If someone is crying I have a lot of compassion for them and try to comfort them (somewhat awkwardly). But often I do not realize if someone is upset. If anyone tells me that they need a hug I give it to them. However, if someone looks grumpy to me, it means that I should leave them alone.

My best form of communication is in writing. If your husband likes to write, tell him that I say that he should write you love letters (assuming that you like love letters).

You know what is funny----I have heard that a lot of "normal" men have the same problem. Men are more logical than emotional. On the other hand a lot of men can "sweep a woman off of her feet" while dating. I can't do that. That is why I believe that I would be a much better husband than be a date.

[Gareth Roberts]

Some very interesting information here. Being younger, I also find the dating side a pain... but who doesn't? I think if the relationship is to be long-term a woman would look past Aspergers. I mean, just because you have Aspergers should not change their mind. The same applies for women dating men.